We demonstrate a new statistical method of determining the global photometric properties of the Milky Way ( MW ) to an unprecedented degree of accuracy , allowing our Galaxy to be compared directly to objects measured in extragalactic surveys . Capitalizing on the high–quality imaging and spectroscopy dataset from the Sloan Digital Sky Survey ( SDSS ) , we exploit the inherent dependence of galaxies ’ luminosities and colors on their total stellar mass , \mathrm { M _ { \star } } , and star formation rate ( SFR ) , \mathrm { \dot { M } _ { \star } } , by selecting a sample of Milky Way analog galaxies designed to reproduce the best Galactic \mathrm { M _ { \star } } and \mathrm { \dot { M } _ { \star } } measurements , including all measurement uncertainties . Making the Copernican assumption that the MW is not extraordinary amongst galaxies of similar stellar mass and SFR , we then analyze the photometric properties of this matched sample , constraining the characteristics of our Galaxy without suffering interference from interstellar dust . We explore a variety of potential systematic errors that could affect this method , and find that they are subdominant to random uncertainties . We present both SDSS ugriz absolute magnitudes and colors in both rest–frame z =0 and z =0.1 passbands for the MW , which are in agreement with previous estimates but can have up to \sim 3 \times lower errors . We find the MW to have absolute magnitude ^ { 0 } M _ { r } -5 \log h = -21.00 _ { -0.37 } ^ { +0.38 } and integrated color ^ { 0 } ( g - r ) = 0.682 _ { -0.056 } ^ { +0.066 } , indicating that it may belong to the green–valley region in color–magnitude space and ranking it amongst the brightest and reddest of spiral galaxies . We also present new estimates of global stellar mass–to–light ratios for our Galaxy . This work will help relate our in–depth understanding of the Galaxy to studies of more distant objects .